Too Fond of Books

Yebisu and I watched "Mama", which is an excellent suspense film... except for the last fifteen minutes, at which point the plot overbalances, the story slips into slo-mo, and all the buildup from the previous story evaporated into no scary payoff and a very clumsy set-up for a sequel. (I say 'suspense' on purpose because while there were a few jump scares, the story was more atmospheric and creepy than genuinely terrifying.) In fact, the whole ending reminded me of an RPG where the players are suddenly dithering about what to do, and the storyteller is too kind to step in and make some action happen, or hopes that they'll find another solution to the problem altogether. Anyway, this wasn't the first horror movie to dash my hopes like this; Splice was another where the whole equation fell completely apart, to a ludicrous and embarrassing degree.

So, I started to wonder: what's the most satisfying way to end a horror movie? How would I have ended "Mama" in particular? There's nihilistic approach of "everyone dies," which sometimes makes sense, sometimes not, and I don't think would have worked well in this storyline. There's also the magical "everything's fixed!" method, but that would have been equally unsatisfying, given the set-up the film had presented. I started to think of great horror movie endings, and all I could come up with off the top of my head was the twist "gotcha!" at the end of the excellent Korean horror movie "A Tale of Two Sisters", which I don't want to give away here, but was so good that I thought about the movie for weeks afterwards. The ending of "Cabin in the Woods" is certainly... uh, definitive, for lack of a better word. Horror stories are some of the most difficult to end, simply because the audience's expectations are going to be so high, and the permutations of the conclusion to the story will radically change people's perception of the movie as a whole, whereas with other genres, I think there's a little more leeway.

But now I'm curious: what's your favorite horror movie ending? Least favorite? Spoilers are fine. I'm far more interested about what makes a horror plot successful than preserving my knowledge of a few movies/TV shows.

There's an interesting essay over on The Onion's A.V. Club page about whether you should be able to ask for a refund from a theater if you don't like the movie. I've never, ever walked out of a movie, although I have received refunds and free tickets from a theater when there were projector problems (in the case of one of the "The Mummy" films, the movie was so bad anyway that the projector breaking down didn't really bother me; in the case of "Doubt", I did notice a strange shadow on the screen throughout the whole film, and was pleased that the manager of the theater was waiting at the exit, freebie tickets in hand and apology at the ready.)

There have certainly been movies that I wanted to walk out of, but didn't do so because I was with someone else. For example, "Event Horizon" was awful and gross, but I was with a friend who didn't seem bothered by the content, so I just waited for it to be over. (After the movie, a guy in front of us was going on and on about how great it had been, and my friend and I walked to our car, silent. After a long while, she said, "I wish I could have seen the movie he saw, because it sounded really cool.") "Mortal Combat 2" was so laughably terrible that I couldn't take seriously at all; it also helped that the theater was filled with drunken frat boys who kept screaming "MORTAL COMBAAAAATTTT!!!" at every conceivable opportunity. The film itself was horrifically stupid, but the viewing atmosphere was fabulous. And the part of me that doesn't like hyper-violence wishes I had walked out of "Kill Bill, Part 1", because, well, I just can't un-see things.

But, in general, I feel like asking for a refund from the theater itself is counter-productive. The staff didn't make the film; they're just showing it to you. You're paying for the opportunity to sit in the theater and watch a movie, not comment on its content. If you want to vote with your dollars, shouldn't you have already done so before walking into a movie? There are plenty of reviews out there that will tell you if the film is your cup of tea, and even though I think the ratings system is deeply flawed, at least it gives you some indication of what you're about to see. But perhaps I am overthinking it. I know that some people just walk into a movie, judging it by its poster and crossing their fingers. Do they get a refund if they don't like the content?

[Poll #1761434]

I try to come up with a straight answer to this and keep going around in circles. Say there was a scene in the movie that you were utterly unprepared for, even after doing research and reading reviews; would that warrant a refund demand? And how soon is said refund demand appropriate--10 minutes into the movie? 20? The end? There's a detail of the social contract here that I'm definitely confused about.

In all honesty, there are other matters that I feel far more inclined to complain about at the theater, most notably the exceedingly overpriced popcorn and candy. And, then, of course, there are the movies that I WISH I could have walked out of, because they were unpleasant ("American Beauty"--how I despise that film) or boring ("Meet Joe Black" = UGH). Anyway, given how rarely I get to theaters now, I hope never to walk out of a movie and plan to do my review-reading homework as diligently as possible.

There's a fabulous "pre-season" write-up for "Lost" here at the Onion A.V. Club. Noel Murray has recently rewatched the previous five seasons and has a number of witty and intelligent observations about the show in general. Scroll down the page, and there's an eight-minute video recap of all the action that's taken place so far, minus flash-backs and -forwards.

Murray speculates about the season to come, and has a number of questions that he wants answered.

Whatever happened to the Oceanic 815 stewardess Cindy, and the kids Zach and Emma?

I suspect we will never find this out. There are actually a number of minor characters who I'm very curious about, but I don't think the writers have enough time left to deal with them properly; I shudder to suspect that maybe the writers aren't good enough to answer all those minor people questions when they've let them dangle so terribly in the past. The bigger question, of course, is why were these characters important in the first place? Hell, we know why children were so important to the Others now, but why squirrel the kids away way back in Seasons 1 & 2, only to be all open about them later?

Who are The Others, and what is their purpose? How vast is their reach into off-island affairs? How do they get on and off the island so easily? Who the hell is Richard Alpert?

Please, Lost writers, if you answer no other questions with this final season, answer these!

Is Locke actually special, or has he just been a pawn all this time?

This question could be answered pretty quickly and simply, and I bet it's a small reward we'll get in the first few episodes. OTOH, depending on the writers' willingness to answer the previous set of questions, it could get tied up in innumerable plot complications.

The questions I add to this list are:

* What is the Smoke Monster? Is it an actual monster, or a scientifically explainable phenomenon as the writers have claimed in the past? And where's it been hanging out all this time? (I saw a funny fanvid recently of a Doctor Who/Lost crossover, where Smokey was actually one of the Weeping Angels, just in different form. While it would never work, it's a fun answer to contemplate.)

* Are forces on the Island (well, Islands, plural, really) controlled by those with strong willpower? I think that Ben was in charge for so long because he was focused and purposeful; but then Locke came along and he was more focused and purposeful, and the Island appeared to choose him over Ben.

If we could answer any or some of the above questions, I would be very grateful. But, as Murray observes,

"I’ve had a blast watching Lost, and I trust that the final season will be entertaining at times and frustrating at others. (Such is the appeal of the show; it’s fun to get mad at it sometimes.) I've never been one to get overly dismayed by the notion that the Lost writers have improvised a lot of the show on the fly. There's a place on TV for the kind of pre-planned, tightly controlled narrative (as seen on The Wire, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, etc.), but the trade-off is that those kinds of shows are often slow-paced and largely uneventful on any given week. I like that the Lost writers think about what will entertain and surprise an audience from episode to episode, even if that means introducing elements that that prove to be dead-ends. As a pastime, I certainly have no complaints about Lost."

This sums up very well my attitude about this show at this point. Since there's no way the writers can wrap everything up, I just hope they tell a good story, one that's reasonably connected to what proceeded it and that answers, hopefully, more than a few of the big questions. I've had such a good time watching this show, and it's not been a guilty pleasure in the slightest (unlike that one season of Survivor I watched from beginning to end and felt terrible about afterwards). Lost has consistently delivered quality debate material, compelling characters, and I'm glad that the writers have enough foresight to see that a definite end point is a stronger place to be than syndication.

OK, picture the situation: you're a poor girl who's grown up with a rich guy, and now as an adult you have feelings for him, but you're not sure what to do. Meanwhile, the King is ill, and you're the only one who has a cure that can help him. The King promises you anything in return and you ask to name your husband, and it's your childhood friend. He reacts badly, says that he thinks of you like a sister, but the King threatens him with banishment if he doesn't say yes. Eventually, your guy says yes, but imposes a whole lot of conditions and then runs off to fight a war, leaving you behind.

[Poll #1238251]

Guess which option Shakespeare's heroine choose? ( The least practical and most roundabout one of those three: )

~~~

This trip to the Globe was preceeded by dinner at the Prado, where I had a chocolate souffle cake so delicious that I actually found myself saying OM NOM NOM NOM aloud. :)

To my friends who have seen the "Death Note" live action movie: is it worth seeing on the big screen?

And is it worth paying $11 a ticket to do so, or should I just Netflix it and be done?

Is the movie disappointing, compared to the manga?

I was pretty excited to see that AMC is showing it in May, but then the preview looked really convoluted and I thought I might want to get some outside perspective before I bought anything.

Thanks in advance!

So, as of May 1st, the postage rates will increase again. This is incredibly frustrating to me because I just bought a lovely set of 20 Tiffany stained glass stamps, and I'm still working on using up my 39 centers! I don't want to have to sort out the buying of 1-cent stamps. Ordinarily, it would take me about 6 months to work through the 20-stamp sheet. So, I propose that as many people as are interested and I exchange letters/recipes/interesting articles/funny cartoons/cards/notes/whatever strikes your fancy in an effort to use up our stamps. I know I've proposed stuff like this in the past and gotten very little interest back, and I know everyone's busy. So, I want to emphasize that there is no pressure to participate, and if you do participate, there is no pressure to exchange soul-baring, poignant letters that will be treasured for generations (although those are awesome, too). Just do what you can, but get rid of those stamps!

Who's with me?! *waves stamp rally flag about*

(I'm perfectly happy to exchange with overseas/Canadian folks as well, as the overseas postage will go up, too.)

EDIT: This doesn't just have to be for Valentine's Day, either. I won't get rid of all of these stamps for quite some time. (I just found half a sheet of Marvel superheroes!) So I'm hoping to extend this through March/April.